I am walking a thin line, the light’s not quite bright and my surroundings are unclear in this blurry twilight.
I make careful footsteps as I tread onwards and up, but I honestly can’t tell if my terrain will buckle or not.
I know I’m going upwards, of that I have proof as the pebbles roll downwards under my steps gone aloof.
But what am I treading on? Is it a precipice or a ledge? My churning gut tells me it might just be my growth’s edge.
You know what I’m speaking of: it’s that wobble-inducing place of dangerous opportunities that are so daunting to face.
But here is my question, the one that jolts me awake: is what I’m feeling truly growth or a cloaked up mistake?
As I make my decisions and course my path day by day, I get lightheaded and dizzy, a vertigo of dismay.
Is the unease that I feel me growing out of my shell? Or fear of the splatter I remember from when I last fell?
This vertigo may likely be fear of falling and failing and of my dreams not availing, as I plummet spectacularly.
But what if…what if… if it’s not fear directing the show, rather a wish to push off and fly, trusting my wings have grown.
Look. I don’t know where I got them, the insecurities and self-doubt. But I am fed up with the hassle of dragging them about.
All I want is to love well, live well, by beauty be astounded and leave the world I was born in much better than I found it.
My heels are already raised, I am about to ascend. I kiss the doubts goodbye and to my wings I tend.
I love well, I live well, I make light in this world. The time has come to BE and not just “could, should, would”.